Ethan had his one month check up yesterday. He is doing very well. He weighs in at 10 lbs 2 oz (2 lbs 1 oz more than his birth weight!). The doctor asked if I was supplementing with formula and I said "Nope just breast milk". She was quite impressed. His length is 21 1/2 inches - that's 2 1/2 inches more than at birth (he was 19 inches). He still has a big head but hopefully grows into it soon! She just said he has lots of brains in there lol.
We are trying to find ways of soothing him at night. He seems to be fussy around 8pm - 11pm. Last night I had Nonna come over and we gave him a bath at 9:00pm, fed him, and he slept until 2:15am. So, hopefully, it's the bath that calmed him. He was up, however at 6am this morning. A friend of my let me borrow her swing, and I tried that this morning.... he is still sleeping in it.... it's 9am. Hopefully this becomes our friend for a little while! Don't get me wrong, I love holding him but sometimes I need some "Mommy time" and need to get things done (like take a nap!)
There isn't too much else going on. I see him change daily - I swear he grows every night and gets bigger and bigger. He is already 4 1/2 weeks and that boggles my mind. I remember like it was yesterday when Ryan and I brought him home from the hospital and stared at him and at each other and said "Now what".... and look how far we have come :)
Breastfeeding is going alright...it's still hit and miss, but for the most part, he latches well and feeds for a very long time (45 minutes sometimes).... so I have to strip him so he doesn't fall asleep (this is why it's 45 minutes). I still top him off with a bottle but he doesn't usually take too much. He has no problem going from breast to bottle so we are happy about that. We still have a bumpy road ahead of us with breastfeeding, but I am willing to stick it out. If anything, it will keep my milk supply up and that's one of my main concerns.
I have finally "let go" of the birth experience and don't think too much about it anymore. I have come to realize that what happened was my experience and I have to accept the fact that it was the way Ethan was brought into this world.... he was and still is healthy, happy and thriving and there is nothing more I can ask for.